I have been so bad about posting… which is reflective of where I am in terms of my life. At this point, I’m hunkered down in basic survival mode. I haven’t posted here because I haven’t processed anything in about three or four months. I’m not sure when that will change, but I am sure that it eventually will.
Friday night (which was the night following my last day at ASU) I had some great conversations that started things stirring, but when I think about really going there and beginning to look I’m just exhausted. I can’t do it Captain. I don’t have the power.
The only good thing I can say at this point is that I’m not really on much of a roller coaster ride because mostly I’m numb. No jerky rides to the top or plummeting to the bottom. More like flat-lined, or something close to it. Stasis, maybe. Cocooned. Hibernating.
Sometimes I think this has been the year of me losing my fucking mind. The verdict isn’t in yet, friends. But even if it is, I’m pretty sure I’ll eventually find it again. Now what shape it’s in… that’s another thing all together. Heh.