Right, so today’s task involves a pledge. I love pledges. Pledges are fun and feel official and seem very much like I am Doing Something Constructive. But then I have to make a note of which statement (to which I am pledging, mind you) will require the most determination, why and — here’s the thing — what I plan to do about that. ::winces:: Ooooh. So I can’t just sign and forget. Got it.
The Body Warrior Pledge – Because I understand that my love and respect for my body are metaphors of my love and respect for my self and soul, I pledge:
- To stop berating my body and to begin celebrating the vessel that I have been given. I will remember the amazing things my body has given me: the ability to experience the world with a breadth of senses, the ability to perceive and express love, the ability to comfort and soothe, and the ability to fight, provide and care for humanity. To this I’d add one more amazing things – my children, nurtured within my body and nourished by my body after they were born.
- To understand that my body is an opportunity not a scapegoat.
- To be the primary source of my confidence. I will not rely on others to define my worth.
- To let envy dissipate and allow admiration to be a source of compassion by offering compliments to others.
- To gently but firmly stand up for myself when someone says something harmful.
- To change the inner monologue in my head to one that sees possibility not problems, potential not shortcomings, blessings not imperfections.
- To give my body the things that it needs to do its work well: plenty of water, ample movement, stretches, rest, and good nutrition, and to limit or eliminate the things that do not nurture my body.
- To see exercise as a way to improve my internal health and strength instead of a way to fight or control my body.
- To understand that my weight is not good or bad. It is just a number, and I am only good.
- To love my body and myself today. I do not have to weigh ten pounds less, have longer hair, or have my degree in my hand to have worth. I have worth just as I am, and I embrace that power.
- To recognize my body’s strengths.
- To no longer put off the things that I wish to experience because I am waiting to do them in a different body.
- To understand that a body, just like a personality, is like a fingerprint: a wonderful embodiment of my uniqueness.
We can consider it electronically signed and dated.
So I’m supposed to pick just one of these that will require the most determination? Dude, that’s hard. It’s more like I could relist them in order from hardest to not-as-hardest (but still hard). Prior to this undertaking, I have worked quite a bit on 1, 8 and 9. I’ve had spotty success with 6 and 7. I don’t struggle much with 2 or 5 (though I’m’ not 100% sure exactly what 2 means) or 11. While I’m on board with the concept of letting envy dissipate, I’m not sure it’s an act of compassion to compliment others. I’d rather use that as an opportunity to explore what it is that I think I am lacking and why I feel I need/should be whatever or whoever I envy. I think 3 is hardest. I still worry about how I look to other people, physically and socially, so that I soar when complimented and crash when criticized. I’m not sure what the best approach is, i.e. what I’m going to “do” about it. I suppose one thing would be to come back to this pledge when I feel that jerking around start to happen. And find other ways to learn to like myself so that I’m more stable in the center. I was going to say that maybe therapy would be useful, but I’m not as sure that’s true anymore. It’s been a long time since I found a good therapist who could show me my blindspots and offer new tools. But I’m not ruling that out, either.