This week I started back to school and wow, that really threw my schedule and good intentions into disarray. I didn’t make it to the gym and my schedule got whacked enough that I had a hard time getting up to meditate. I didn’t drink and I didn’t go to a meeting. Right now, I’m not going to try (this is therapist-sanctioned) as I’m not really struggling with my decision and it’s very difficult to find one that fits into my work/school schedule. I DID make it to counseling and will be going every week.
The Physical: I didn’t make it to the gym for scheduling and illness reasons. I’ve been fighting the “missed some training, so fail and chuck it all” attitude all week. My therapy session on Friday helped with that, and I’m planning to get back on track this week. I have pared down to the commitment of three days of 10K training each week, to include a good stretch. I’ll pick up more when/if I can later. I think that’s reasonable right now.
The Mental: I had my first therapy session and feel good looking forward. We spoke about the drinking and my relationship stuff more than anything else. We spoke about my feelings about AA and wanting to work with SMART recovery principles. She was familiar with both, so that was great. She liked the idea of me creating a small group of friends to whom I have made myself accountable. She asked some good questions about why I decided to quit and what has kept me sober over the past two weeks or so. I told her, and I’m telling you all, that I WILL seek out a meeting if I start to feel like I’m struggling with not drinking. So far, so good. About Jeff, she had some really interesting insights that she pulled out of things I was saying. I appreciate that perspective and I feel like I have a good ally in helping me resolve my ambiguity over all this and coming to a decision point by June. Next week I’d like to talk about how to talk to Jeff about all this – what kinds of specifics I should share and so on.
The Spiritual: Like I said, meditation totally fell by the wayside this past week. I’m making some changes to my schedule to make room for what I want to do, but also realizing that I may not have as much study time as I’d like. I have a shit-ton of reading this term and the reality is that it will take up a good deal of my spare time. Still, I think I can make time for small things, and certainly for more reflective works like Thorn’s program. Anything with a lot of reading, though, is seriously like taking on another course of study and I just can’t right now, as much as I’d like to.
I’m finding that my calendar and task list are crucial to being able to get things done. That, and getting to sleep no later than 11 and getting out of bed when I get Nina up at 6:30. Fortunately, these changes (and probably the vitamin D supplements) are helping make it easier to regulate sleep and want to get out of bed.
And the review…
- I will attend one SMART Recovery meeting a week, either in person or online.
- I will begin training with the Couch to 10K podcast for May’s 10K.
- I will stay sober. CHECK
- I will attend one therapy session each week. CHECK
- I will update my Circle of Support once a week. CHECK
- I will set up a schedule to avoid procrastination with my classes. CHECK
- I will set my altar up and find or create a meditation space.>
- I will sit for at least 5 minutes each day, according to the practice outlined in Evolutionary Witchcraft.