Should I? Of Course I Should.

I started training for a half marathon on February 23, 2013. I didn’t think about it a lot beforehand, and that seems to be important. Basically, I didn’t give myself a lot of time to talk myself out of it. It became part of a movement I’m making towards a HAES approach to my body – that’s Health At Every Size, to those who may not know.

This comes after literally decades of fighting with my body, trying to shrink it – trying to shrink my Self to be more acceptable in society. I wanted to run a marathon before I hit 40 (I’m 42 now), but never made it because I couldn’t lose enough weight to get started. This has been a theme for a lot of things (not doing it because I wasn’t small enough to do it) and I’m feeling pretty much done with that.

So what I’ll do here, then, is record this journey of discovery. I want to see what it’s like to move joyfully in the body I have now; to eat well and healthily without obsessing over calories and to find the place where my Self meets my Body. No preconceived ideas of what that looks like, no judgement. Just living fully now and joyfully now.

I’m in week three of training. Saturday marked a big passage for me. I couldn’t get to the training site with my group. Normally that would have been the perfect excuse to “do it later,” which would translate to “do it never”. The program I’m doing with Portland Fit is so do-able, especially with some new and cool tools (toys?) like Fitocracy and MapMyRun, that I found I truly wanted to go out. And I did. In fact, I ended up walking 4.5 miles. And I’m looking forward to the 5 I have coming THIS Saturday, which feels so weird.

More rambling thoughts later, but I wanted to get at least one post up today.

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