Since the dissolution of my last group, I’ve been in deep cocoon. I have a lot of thoughts, have had a lot of epiphanies, but the one that is really working me now is that perhaps I have been searching for something I never really needed – a tradition to work with.
Recently I had a great conversation with a new friend who described leaving the last bit of orthodoxy behind when leaving the concept of a tradition. The thought was mind-blowing to me. How do you approach a spiritual practice without tradition? Her answer was to seek the joy and wonder of nature she had as a child. And wow, did that set off a series of things for me.
So if I leave behind tradition, what do I celebrate? Do I still have seasonal celebrations? How do they change if I leave behind the ideas of tradition and yes, even divinity? Does it change anything when I think about myth and its importance in our world? Turns out the answer to that last question is no, it does not.
Here I am, a tradition builder, a person who has spent the last nearly 30 years working in and creating my own tradition… thinking about chucking it. Hanging with the UU’s, who seem to fit me better these days, and having a CUUPS group for those seasonal things… and moving into a much closer relationship with the land. I expect that may be the most Pagan act of all. Leaving the need for tradition feels like leaving all the accoutrements and getting down to the core… and that feels pretty good indeed.
Still cocooning, still thinking, but slowing moving towards a new thing, towards growth and towards not trying to cram myself into a hole that no longer accommodates me.