I spent the last year on Cymbalta and boy was it a Tower year. I don't think the two are coincidental. I quit my job, lost some friends, lost my spiritual group, lost my joy, lost my freaking MIND in so many ways. I spent a month or three on suicide watch. I've never been … Continue reading when you’re not on the right meds
Mental
my team of champions
Yesterday's therapy appointment was illuminating. I nearly didn't go because I have a shitty cold, one where I am prone to coughing fits and losing my voice. I generally get one like this once a year, and apparently now is the time. So anyway, I drug my carcass in and as usual, I'm glad I … Continue reading my team of champions
december or january?
Here's my get-on-track plan. I'm trying to decide whether to start Monday, or on the 21st, or on January 1. Thoughts welcome. This is the first week outline. Weekly Check-in Walking Distance Average Pace Strength Squats Push-Ups Full Plank Dips Chest Press Flexibility Yoga Stretch Routine 6 Simple Stretches Hip Stretches Calf Stretch/Strength Measurements Weight … Continue reading december or january?
ah, life with the DSM-V
The DSM-V has combined dysthymia with chronic major depressive disorder and came up with a new name - persistent depressive disorder - and a list of symptoms of which I have every. stinkn'. one. Looks like this: This disorder represents a consolidation of DSM-IV-defined chronic major depressive disorder and dysthymic disorder. A. Depressed mood for … Continue reading ah, life with the DSM-V
Wild Geese
"WILD GEESE" by Mary Oliver You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about your despair, yours, and I will tell you … Continue reading Wild Geese
Living with depression
I have developed a bad habit in my quest to be open about my dance with depression and anxiety, and that bad habit is letting the disease take the fall (and by extension, me) when I'm speaking truth. Depression can be an amplifier, a dark anti-light that shines on things that aren't working out well … Continue reading Living with depression
Anti-social media
Taking away social media has brought a lot of attention to how much time I was spending using it. When I have a free moment, I still have to stop my fingers from typing "facebook.com" into the address bar - out of habit, rather than a real desire to be there. I kind of feel … Continue reading Anti-social media
Journeys
Next fall - possibly sooner - I will be embarking on a journey towards an MA in Counseling Psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute. Yes, a third degree. THE third degree? The last one? Perhaps. But it'll cement my ability to work on my own, and that's what I'm looking for. This follows me quitting my … Continue reading Journeys
Rilke, from this morning’s therapy sesh
"GO TO THE LIMITS OF YOUR LONGING" BY RAINER MARIA RILKE translation by Joanna Macy + Anita Barrows God speaks to each of us as he makes us, then walks with us silently out of the night. These are the words we dimly hear: You, sent out beyond your recall, go to the limits of … Continue reading Rilke, from this morning’s therapy sesh
Disquiet
I'm noticing a trend over the last four years, and I don't really like it much, and I don't really know what to do about it. Firstly, depression is becoming a bigger presence. Chalk it up to the weather if you like, but I don't think that's what it is, especially since it can be … Continue reading Disquiet
