Last month my full moon ritual's intention was to seek mercy and justice in terms of those dying from COVID-19. My thinking was mercy for those infected through no fault of their own, and justice for those who were infected due to their own hubris. I was working with the Mórrígan. During the course of … Continue reading Of Mercy & Justice
COVID-19
Zero to Overwhelm
This weekend I went from zero to overwhelm in five seconds. It started on Friday, when we watched a livestream of an Authority Zero concert on YouTube. I started crying towards the end, I couldn't even name why, and even typing about it is making me tear up again. I reached out to people I … Continue reading Zero to Overwhelm
Staying Busy
It's been a busy time for me. Even if you're not seeing a journal entry every day, they're happening. Some are just private. I'm realizing that I need to bite off fewer bits of what I'm working on so I don't burn out. Today was a struggle to get going. In addition to what I'm … Continue reading Staying Busy
No Sleep
I knocked myself out last night. I had to. For the past week-ish, I've been waking every hour from vivid dreams - basically, I think I'm waking at the end of every dream cycle I have, and never making it into deep sleep. The dreams are about many things - COVID-19, my dad, Jasmine, things … Continue reading No Sleep
On the Eve of Week 2
Monday will make the beginning of my second week of staying home. We have a team meeting on Wednesday to talk about what comes next. I have incredibly mixed feelings. I want to work and not have to deal with the drop in income... but more than that, I want to be laid off so … Continue reading On the Eve of Week 2
War & Peace
Things resolved with my nephew - he has returned to Arizona indefinitely. I told him he would need to stay until there is no risk of infection. Based on the latest information, not only is my mom at risk because of her COPD and heart disease, so is Jeff with his blood thinners and heart … Continue reading War & Peace
Endless Anger Metaphors Ensue
My dad used to growl deep in his throat when he was very, very angry. Angry not in a quick-burning flash and then gone way, but in a years-burning-coal-under-the-soil kinda way. And that's where I am today. My mother's health is not being taken seriously by people who should be taking it seriously. By people … Continue reading Endless Anger Metaphors Ensue
Pandemic
Damn. I don't have a lot to say. I have a mom who is at risk right now. I work in health care. I am likely facing furlough because my department is non-essential. I am ok with that because of point A - I would really like to not infect my mom. People continue to … Continue reading Pandemic
Overwhelm
I imagine I am not alone when I say I am living in a constant state of overwhelm right now. There's the constant background drone of the decline of our country, the rabid messaging around the Democratic primaries, the coronavirus, political insanity on the global level, oppression of indigenous rights (also on a global scale), … Continue reading Overwhelm
by the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea 