This year is no different than any year since 2004 when it comes to this - I am up again in the wee hours of V-Day, thinking about you, Jasmine, and how you'd be navigating this world with nearly 24 years under your belt. Grief ninjas come and go, but there's always the steady ache … Continue reading 13 years
Jasmine
losing jasmine – 10 years later
Today is the 10th anniversary of Jasmine's death. I am not in the place to go into details for anyone who doesn't know them, not today, and not after the last 24 hours. It's a joyous kind of place, though, just too emotional for work. If you'd like to hear her story sometime, let me … Continue reading losing jasmine – 10 years later
anniversaries of birth
20 years ago today I was finally being admitted to Enloe Hospital after being in labor for 3 days. Those three sleepless days included a crazy walking tour of downtown Chico, being sent home from the hospital after my water broke and many hours of video game playing by the males involved. Finally, though, I … Continue reading anniversaries of birth
no words
Man, I did NOT want to get out of bed this morning. Literally, and not in a cozy, let's settle in kind of way. My body is still adjusting to the IUD I had inserted in August, and it is really messing with my hormonal balance. That, and unexpected shit with the car rental for … Continue reading no words
Hiatus from News!!
I'm sure everyone reading this knows about the shootings in Arizona on Saturday. I was going to say I wasn't personally affected, meaning I didn't know anyone personally who was shot, but I was personally affected. It was a rotten day. Absorbing all the reaction was pretty overwhelming, and it brought back some surprising things … Continue reading Hiatus from News!!
5 Years
We're having a five year memorial for Jasmine on Saturday - if you'd like to come or if you'd like to send something for me to read (a memory, a story, whatever) or put on her altar (pictures, objects, etc.), please let me know ASAP. We'll get started at 3 and should be done by … Continue reading 5 Years
You Can’t Always Get What You Want
Last year at this time we were getting a phone call from the transplant coordinator letting us know there were lungs available for Jasmine. Another family had made the decision we had to make six weeks ago. We went to see Scooby Doo tonight and one of the trailers before the film was for the … Continue reading You Can’t Always Get What You Want
Blowin’ Through the Jasmine in My Mind
I woke up at 5:30 on Saturday morning and knew I wasn't going back to sleep. I got up quietly, slipped on a dress and went outside. Considering how late the previous night's activities went on, I wasn't expecting to run into anyone else. When I stepped outside, it was cloudy and cool, with a … Continue reading Blowin’ Through the Jasmine in My Mind
And The Van Steenberg Family Resides…
Before we left for Arizona, I said to a few of my friends that I really didn't think we'd be moving back to Arizona, that the trip back would probably just be a confirmation of my feeling at the time that we would stay in Bloomington. I was wrong. And I don't know how, or … Continue reading And The Van Steenberg Family Resides…
A Day of Anxiety
Just so's you know, I've changed my three fields at the bottom to tarot cards. I want to record them more regularly and I write more regularly here, so there they are. The only problem, I think, is that old entries will show up with songs, books and thoughts where tarot cards are indicated. I … Continue reading A Day of Anxiety
