There is a place that I am afraid to go and that place is anger. I am angry that I wasn’t able to be with Jasmine the day they intubated her. I don’t know what difference it would have made because I felt at the time she was still going to be okay, but it makes me mad that my chance to see her eyes open for the last time was out of my reach. Instead of going there, I make excuses for why I had to be in Bloomington. I don’t want to allow myself to be angry because no one knew what was going to happen. The anger is totally irrational and yet it is still there, simmering in the background, waiting to spill over. What can I do with it? How do I give it an outlet without hurting someone else or myself?

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