Yesterday I did a tarot reading to follow up the one I did with River regarding the move. When I did my reading with River, I asked about clarification on the move. Here’s what we drew:

Significator: 10 of Cups
Situation: 9 of Cups
Crossing: 9 of Swords
Before: Strength
Ahead: Lovers
Below: Queen of Cups
Above: Star
Me: Ace of Pentacles
Environment: 4 of Wands
Hopes/Fears: 2 of Swords
Outcome: Sun

Sky Card: Devil
Cards Add Up To: Hanged Man

In yesterday’s reading, I more specifically asked if Arizona was the right choice. We’ve been leaning that way lately based largely on the girls. Watching Gabrielle looking for her missing half is painful. If we move to Arizona, a good portion of our family outings would be with Deb’s family and that would mean no searching for Gab. She’s just so lonely — not alone, but lonely. And then there’s Nina, who could be great friends with Cy and also with her cousins Chloe and Hailey. Add in the fact that my mom is really great about taking the kids for weekends and sometimes weeks at a time, and it is a heavy thing. But we have to see how we feel about it in the summertime. That’s what our trip in a few weeks is all about.

I haven’t written about this much because I don’t want you guys — those of you who read this journal in particular — to feel jerked around by this process Jeff and I are going through. Please know, the decision isn’t being made until June and that we REALLY appreciate — no, scratch that, I will speak for myself, I really appreciate your support. Whichever way it goes will have sacrifices, as Deb pointed out in my comments section at the other diary.

Anyway, yesterday’s reading looked like this:

Significator: Magician (this is also my soul card)
Situation: 2 of Pentacles
Crossing: Empress
Before: 3 of Wands
Ahead: Queen of Swords
Below: Star
Above: 2 of Wands
Me: King of Swords
Environment: Page of Wands
Hopes/Fears: 3 of Cups
Outcome: 4 of Wands

Sky Card: World
Cards Add Up To: Lovers

There is some overlap that is interesting to me — the Star, the Lovers, 4 of Wands. It is also interesting to me that the first reading added up to the Hanged Man — since the question was more vague, sort of, “what should I do,” it’s not surprising that the Hanged Man showed up.

Yesterday’s reading felt positive to me, more decisive. There sure were a lot of wands in there. And the Empress as the bridge, well, I see that reflecting the thoughts I’d had recently about the girls. (The Empress is Nina’s life card, by the way.) There are two cards dealing with 2 — me in relationship with someone else — and they are wands and pentacles. There are also two 3 cards, wands and cups. These are about expansion. Three court cards, and I’m never totally sure what they’re about. I chose to see them as mastery of the suits or as people. In this reading, it feels more about mastery, but I’d love to hear other opinions. So many wands and swords — identity and communication, how I interact with the world. I see that a move to Arizona would be important to my sense of self, to my communication skills. I see that friendship is a motivating factor — relationships in general are. Overall, it looks like a move would be good. What do you think? Lay the cards out — I used the Rider-Waite deck — and tell me what you see…