I have to admit, I’d gotten pretty lax about paying attention to my consumer choices. I was pretty “consumed” by the presidential election for most of this year, and “consumed” by the war events of the Bush presidency prior to that. But Lilith is the wild — the wild untamed by humans, the voice that needs to speak truth in the natural world. And I am following Lilith.

One of the things I really revisited at camp is the link between my body and my planet, between small actions locally and global impact. I started thinking again about my food choices — I had strayed from vegetarianism while pregnant with Nina. When we were driving back and forth constantly to St. Louis with Jasmine, it made more sense to have the minivan, plus a back-up vehicle in Bloomington, but then Jasmine died, and now I’m wondering if we really need either. I mean, yes, we need a car, because unfortunately, not having one simply isn’t an option in this area, but do we need two so large? Couldn’t we… downsize? And finally, I started thinking about whether or not I want to support urban sprawl by moving out to Queen Creek, where yes, the bigger houses are cheaper, but do we really need a bigger house?

So anyway, questioning my own consumer choice was definitely stirred up for me. The other thing I really started considering was the personal and the political. What do I want to do? Is it enough to write letters? Why doesn’t that feel like enough? Is it a community thing? Is it an internal thing? Is there a place in Reclaiming for hearth tenders? Those who hold the circle while others step in? Is that valued? Would it satisfy the part of me that is really enraged by the things happening in this world?

I know I’m ready to explore, and to that end, I’m taking a class in magickal activism in Chicago in a few weeks.

I know the time for complacency is gone. If anyone is going to start lifting this country out of this quagmire of fundamentalism and greed, it has to start with me, with my choices and my actions.