Yes, friends and neighbors, I find myself on the horns of a dilemma. What a great way to begin a diary, right? Well, writing is supposed to make everything so much clearer, so what the fuck. Let’s give it a shot.

I quit my job working for a major corporation recently. It was a good job, with wonderful people, but I quit for two reasons. First, I need more time to spend with my children, because I have an infant, my oldest daughter had a double lung transplant in March and my middle child is struggling to make sense of her new place in the world. Second, my husband inherited some money from his grandmother this past spring, making possible my dream of not being a corporate drone (not that everyone in corporate America is a drone, just that I personally had a hard time). With this money, we have some options. Our bills, except for our mortgage and our student loans (for uncompleted degrees — more on that later), are paid. Medical insurance is being handled via programs in Illinois for the “uninsurable” (a rant on that will probably be forthcoming) and via private insurance.

So… what’s the dilemma? Well, what the hell do I do now? Jeff and I have always dreamed of having our own business. I have dreamed in particular of having a metaphysical book/supply store that would be a hub for the local community to gather, learn and hopefully spend some money. I have also dreamed of finishing my degree and being able to in some way live my life priestessing — that is, ministering to people. We have recently renewed our attendance with a UU congregation and it occurs to me that the work of a UU minister is appealing. You might say it calls to me. And I think I have a gift for it. To pursue this end would mean finishing my Bachelor’s degree and then going to seminary for a Master’s in Divinity. There is a great UU seminary in Chicago, and also in Berkeley, CA and Cambridge, MA.

So the dilemma… which is the path to take? Both are equally appealing. Opening a store or going to seminary. Are they mutually exclusive? Why am I avoiding the tarot on this and other subjects? Will this year never end?!