Jasmine has to go back to her old lung regimen, at least for awhile. I feel scared. I don’t have a good gauge for how she’s doing — it’s all so different than it was before. No rejection, but plenty of infection and we know from our prior experience that infection scars lungs. So I feel like I’m trying to fool myself by saying hopefully, “Well, there’s no rejection, but…” because infections can be just as bad.

No one wants us to take her out of school and while part of me understands the pragmatic aspect of this — we didn’t do this so she could live life in a bubble and we don’t want to contribute to her avoidance coping problem — part of me does want to shield her from as much as possible, especially germy kids. I really wanted to go to St. Louis with her last week so I could talk about this very issue with her team, but things conspired to make it so I couldn’t and Jeff never remembers to talk about these things.

Lately Jeff and I have been suffering aches — he in the back, me in the head. It seems like he thinks he’s burdened and I think I’m thinking too much.