Sad

A whirlwind came with the snow last night — it was Jeff and a ritual. He showed up at about 7:15 with dinner from China Star. We sat and I ate my honey sesame chicken while he ate garlic chicken — I had to have at least a bite of the broccoli so that later, when I kissed him, it wouldn’t be like sucking on a garlic clove.

Torn, I went to ritual, because I really wanted to be there for the first moon with our new Seeds and ALL COVEN MEMBERS PRESENT. First time and it couldn’t be me to mess that up. So I went and left as soon as we finished, leaving everyone else to clean up the stuff. Not like me, but I really wanted to be home with my husband.

When I got home, the remnants of dinner were still on the table (“Should I toss these before I leave?” “No, I’ll eat them when I’m done with Nina.” I knew they’d be there when I got home.) I threw them away, sat down and took off my Docs and went to the bedroom where Jeff was waiting.

We tucked both Gab and Nina in to sleep and then had a very nice evening together. (Did you think I’d share racy details? Maybe someday, but not today. I’m not in the mood.)

When I woke up this morning, I was first aware of his feet warm next to mine. Nina was sprawled between us, a hand on each parent, content before waking. She woke just after I did and played contentedly while Jeff and I slowly accepted that sleep was no longer an option. We had things to do this morning, so lingering in bed was out of the question. Resigned, we got up and came out to the living room to shake the sleep out of our bodies while getting ready for the day.

Nina played with her toys, chewing, cooing and occasionally squealing while I rubbed Jeff’s neck. I really didn’t want to get up and go run our errands because I knew that doing that would lead to him leaving again for St. Louis.

But we did and so he did and now I am filled with melancholy. I will see Jeff and Jasmine again on Thursday, but it feels so far away.

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