125 Things

I think I’ve been at Diaryland long enough to qualify for this:

1. I am obsessive about books; I read them, I horde them and sometimes, when no one is looking, I press my open book against my nose and breathe deeply, taking in the unmistakable scent of Book.

2. I have a nearly uncontrollable desire to squeeze kitties. It’s easier to control when they’re older, but when they’re little and rotund with milk, it’s all I can do not to squeeze their little intestines right out.

3. When you squeeze some kitties, they make a little “mrph” noise that I find very rewarding. Jewel still does it. Rosie just runs when I get that look on my face.

4. I hate the sun like a vampire. Seriously, I have a strong desire to hiss whenever it touches my skin. I burn very quickly and I just can’t stand all that light and heat.

5. The only thing I hate more than the sun is extreme heat. I would much rather deal with extreme cold — I can always find enough to wear. Can’t peel out of my skin.

6. Perhaps it is no surprise that I love the rain. Beautiful, grey, cool, wet rain.

7. One reason I love the rain is that I also love green growing things, the lusher the better.

8. I could very happily live in the Pacific Northwest and someday I will.

9. I have three daughters, Jasmine, Gabrielle and Nina.

10. Jasmine died on February 14, 2004 of complications from an infection in transplanted lungs.

11. My other two daughters have been pivotal in keeping me involved in living and laughing after Jasmine’s death.

12. I married my high school sweetheart. We have been together for 17 years.

13. I knew Jeff was “the One” when I started dating him. Scary knowledge for a 16 year-old.

14. I believe that a relationship takes a lot of work to be successful.

15. I’ve read romance novels since I was 11.

16. My favorite novels are contemporary and my favorite author of these type books is Nora Roberts.

17. I want to be like Nora Roberts when I am a grown-up writer.

18. I also read a lot of “respectable” fiction, like Barbara Kingsolver or Nick Hornsby.

19. Most of the books on my bookshelf are non-fiction books about my spiritual path or the spiritual paths of others.

20. My spiritual path is Wicca.

21. My spiritual practice is Witchcraft with a Celtic flavor.

22. I have a hard time dealing with people who think that their religious beliefs are the only “right” ones.

23. I don’t believe in Hell.

24. I do believe in reincarnation.

25. I believe that the energy you send out to the world boomerangs right back at you.

26. Being compassionate is really important to me, though it’s not always easy to practice.

27. Whenever someone tells me something is bad for me, I am compelled to find out as much about that thing as possible.

28. I often find that ignorance (either real or assumed) is behind people thinking something is “bad.”

29. I don’t mind real ignorance about something, but I get irritated when someone chooses to remain ignorant about something so they don’t have to examine something about their lives or their ideologies.

30. I love words.

31. I get a little high when I write and find just the right way to capture something on paper.

32. I am an aspiring writer.

33. I like to garden and have herbs and veggies in my garden each spring.

34. I also love flowers.

35. My favorite flowers are deep purple hydrangeas.

36. I chose not to wear gloves when I garden because I like to feel dirt on my hands and under my nails.

37. I am a member of my local UU congregation.

38. I love the UU’s because they welcome all paths to their church with open arms.

39. I think the UU church is a great model for the world. If everyone could let go of the need to be “right” about their spiritual path, if they could practice their own path and let others practice theirs, there would be a lot less war.

40. I believe Jesus and the Buddha were real men who lived lives worthy of emulation.

41. I believe some sects of the Christian church have really done Christ and God a disservice by trying to scare people into believing and worshipping.

42. I believe in God, though I chose not to see god as “The Father.”

43. I connect with the divine through mythologies that are either older than Christianity or inspired by those that are older than Christianity.

44. This means I often put a feminine face on the divine and call it Goddess.

45. While I use the old myths to help me connect with the divine, (much as Christians connect with God through Christ), and while I often talk about the Goddess, I actually believe the divine is genderless.

46. I sleep in the position of the Hanged Man tarot card.

47. I am addicted to baths and good, handmade bath products.

48. This addiction led to me learning how to make handmade soap and other bath products.

49. I helped a friend start a handmade soap business that is now very successful.

50. My favorite scents include lavender, rose, patchouli, cedar and sage.

51. I don’t like synthetic versions of these scents.

52. I love nag champa incense.

53. Strength training makes me happy and it works for me.

54. Yoga and Pilates also make me happy and work for me.

55. Cardio can be more challenging for me unless I find something I like.

56. I recently starting belly dancing and I LOVE IT!

57. I love to eat.

58. I have a crappy metabolism, meaning, I have to work hard to burn calories.

59. Because I love to eat and have a crappy metabolism, I have to be careful about how much and what I chose.

60. I believe in a sensible eating style. You won’t find me following any diet that tells me I have to exclude part of the food pyramid in order to lose weight. It’s about calories — calories in and calories burned. My body doesn’t care where the calories come from. Maybe yours does.

61. When I first moved to the Midwest, I lost 45 pounds with Weight Watchers.

62. Though I am not currently attending meetings, I am using the stuff I learned with Weight Watchers to guide my current eating.

63. One reason I like Weight Watchers is that it’s a sensible approach to food that I can see myself doing for the rest of my life.

64. I love aloo ghobi. And sag paneer. Indian food. Mmm….

65. I also love hummus, falafel, feta cheese and raiti. Mediterranean food. Mmm….

66. Bean burritos. Chicken fajitas. Flautas. Tex-Mex. Mmm…

67. Fortunately, I also like all veggies EXCEPT for brussel sprouts and cooked cabbage, which taste like congealed pig snot to me. No, I’ve never actually had congealed pig snot, but this is what I imagine it would taste like. Blech.

68. I can find an artist I like in just about any musical genre.

69. It is harder for me to find artists I like in country, rap and r&b.

70. I LOVE Led Zeppelin.

71. I am tall, 5’9″ or so.

72. I have always felt much larger than I really am.

73. I am very self-conscious about my body and am hoping my recent foray into the dance world will help.

74. I have recently developed a taste for unsweetened seltzer water, either plain or flavored. My favorite is unflavored.

75. I cuss a lot.

76. I watch more Nickelodeon than I’d care to.

77. I am very liberal on most issues.

78. I really hate the current administration.

79. The word “bush,” which used to be, at worst, slang for vagina, now causes my blood pressure to raise at least 10 points.

80. I didn’t support the war in Iraq and it was the first war that drew me to a protest march.

81. I write to my congresspeople a lot.

82. I don’t waste my time writing to the White House. It seems Dubya doesn’t have to answer to voters anyway.

83. I like to play hand drums.

84. This year I am particularly focusing on the djembe, the doumbek and the tar.

85. I keep four different journals. At least.

86. I was born in the San Francisco Bay Area and I really wish I still lived there.

87. Most of my family lives in Southern California and Arizona.

88. I am addicted to computer games. I have to ration out my time on them or else I find that weeks have gone by leaving me with pasty skin, dark circles under my eyes and a nervous tic.

89. I have nicknamed my kids after bugs — Jasmine the Dragonfly, Gabrielle the Butterfly and Nina the Lady Bug. Hence the name of this journal.

90. I compulsively check my email.

91. I overcommit myself to things I really want to do — if there were three of me.

92. 5 hobbies that sound fun: scrapbooking, stamping, gardening, drumming, beading

93. 5 classes that sound fun: world religions, cross-cultural prospectives on whatever, Gaelic, tribal belly dance, voice

94. 5 things I would never do: skydiving, race car driving, deep sea diving, karaoke in a bar, dance on a table

95. 5 skills that would be fun to have: drawing, playing guitar, snow skiing, singing, riq drumming

96. 5 things I used to enjoy doing: dancing, playing with make-up, talking solitary walks, drawing, writing fiction

97. 5 silly things I would like to try once: backpacking in the Canyon, belly dancing as part of a troupe, making people laugh through writing or stand-up, playing with my kids in the play equipment, climb a tree as an adult

98. My ideal environment would be an older seaside home, in a smallish town, but close to a larger city.

99. I am late to regular journaling, but I love it. I wish I had been doing it all my life.

100. I can be really, really moody.

101. My favorite childhood toy was a book. I was an early reader and books were sacred to me. They still are.

102. My favorite childhood game was “Let’s Pretend.” I liked to pretend to be something else, someone else. To slip into another skin and tell that story.

103. The best movie I ever saw as a kid was “Charlotte’s Web.” That movie influenced me in ways I still feel today. There’s a song Charlotte sings towards the end about seasons and the cycle of life that I just love.

104. I don’t do it much but I enjoy dancing. I stopped dancing when I was date raped at 16. Oh, I danced from time to time after that, but not with the same abandon and joy. This year is about getting that back.

105. If I could lighten up a little, I’d let myself learn how to ski. I hate looking dorky learning to do something new and that Jeff can already do it intimidates me. If I lightened up, I could just laugh at myself when I fall.

106. If it weren’t too late, I’d spend more time living the life I envisioned without children — visiting art galleries, living in some NYC-type place and traveling a lot.

107. My favorite musical instrument is the cello. I really love the mournful, haunting sound. I would love to learn to play some day.

108. The amount of money I spend on treating myself to entertainment each month is ridiculous. I’m making up for a lot of time not being able to do that.

109. If I weren’t so stingy with my inner artist, I’d buy her a writing workshop.

110. Taking time out for myself is hard. I feel guilty doing it, yet I have to do it — it’s a vicious cycle. I’d feel less guilty if Jeff would do it too.

111. I am afraid that if I start dreaming I will lose track of things that need to be done in the here and now. That I’ll stop doing.

112. I have very blue eyes and dark red hair. My eye color is natural. My hair color is not.

113. If I had had a perfect childhood I’d have grown up to be a writer.

114. If it didn’t sound so crazy, I’d write a book on grieving for Pagan parents.

115. My most cheer-me-up music is Green Day. Or the Violent Femmes.

116. My favorite way to dress is according to my mood. I like romantic Goth clothes, I like tie-dye and I like my jeans and t-shirt. Comfort and looking good are equally important, which is why I’m more often in the latter than the former.

117. I married at 20 and had my first child at 22.

118. I had my last child at 32.

119. There was a huge lapse of time between my middle child and my last child.

120. I love pre-Raphaelite art. JW Waterhouse is one of my favorite artists.

121. I recently started scrapbooking and stamping.

122. I hate feeling like a typical housewife.

123. Most of the time, my house is cluttered with piles of books and mail.

124. I love living in a place where there are fireflies in the summertime.

125. I NEVER in a million years thought I would live in the Midwest.

Did you make it this far? I’m impressed. I got tired of trying to think of things to write, so I can’t imagine how you felt reading it!

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