The other day while cleaning I came across one of Jasmine's journals. I've found several and like me at her age, Jasmine was fond of writing one or two entries in one journal and then getting another one. For me, I felt vaguely guilty about not keeping up with the daily writing I wanted to … Continue reading Warning Sign
Memoir
Like the Rain
I'm missing Jasmine today. I found the bottle of rosemary essential oil we used to anoint her body prior to cremation and opened it to smell. Instantly I saw her small, cold little body in the parlor of the crematorium -- the last time I ever saw her whole. Rosemary used to be a scent … Continue reading Like the Rain
Meltdown
I have been avoiding my diary this weekend. Not sure why, but last night Jeff finally gave me The Look after again checking my diary to see if there was an update. "What do you care? You never leave any comments anyway!" The best offense is a good defense, I always say. "Why should I … Continue reading Meltdown
Interactive
I've been reading a lot about how society, generally in the guise of family and friends, tells grieving parents to "get over it." I have really not found this to be the case (aren't you guys awesome?). However, I feel a desire to think about something else, to not feel this hazy, half-assed depression hanging … Continue reading Interactive
One Year Later
I sent this out last year following Jasmine's transplant. Most of you probably read it then. I post it in memory of a great event in Jasmine's life. Jeff asked me today how it is that there could be so many. "I can breathe!" This delivered in an incredulous and breathy little voice... These words … Continue reading One Year Later
Riding the Cyclone
We did it -- we got stuff done today! Something, not a lot, but better than nothing. We went out this afternoon and tried to buy advance Scooby Doo tickets, but we can't get them till tomorrow. We picked up some parts for the washer (Rowan, you may not want these old things, trust me), … Continue reading Riding the Cyclone
Pre-Grieving
Nina, Jeff and I are sick. We brought back something from Jamaica that wasn't in our suitcases, evidently. Nina's sick enough that we took her to the doctor, who said that whatever the viral part of this is, she has some kind of bacterial ear infection too, and he put her on amoxicillin. We had … Continue reading Pre-Grieving
Thoughts on the Before and After Worlds
On February 14, 2004 at 7 PM, my family's world divided into Before and After. There are many events in life that make this division -- birth, marriage, and yes, death. Even each moment of the day carries a breath of Before and After, but it's smaller -- before and after. Before and After worlds … Continue reading Thoughts on the Before and After Worlds
Welcome to Jamaica
Many emails about ignoring Jeff's aunt -- thanks. I knew that was the right answer, I just needed to hear it. Marcy, your idea about sending her a note and mentioning how nice it was to have the last few months with Jasmine is great. I couldn't post while in Jamaica and I just didn't … Continue reading Welcome to Jamaica
Sigh
We came home to an ugly letter from Jeff's aunt. I'm not sure what, if anything, to do about it. He had started to regrow a relationship with her last year in the wake of his grandmother's death, but they had a falling out before Jasmine's death related to money he inherited from his grandmother … Continue reading Sigh
by the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea 