This is from a grieving parents email list I've joined. I like it. Resolutions for Bereaved Parents * I will grieve as much and for as long as I need, determining my own time-table. * I will grieve the way that suits me best, and I will express my feelings the way I choose. * … Continue reading Resolutions for Bereaved Parents

We spent the afternoon getting Gabrielle's room ready for new furniture. I haven't spent too much time in there because it still looks like Jasmine will stroll in at any minute and complain about Gabrielle wearing her clothes. And she would complain, because that seems to be Gab's favorite thing these days -- Jasmine's clothes. … Continue reading Rated R for Language

There is a place that I am afraid to go and that place is anger. I am angry that I wasn't able to be with Jasmine the day they intubated her. I don't know what difference it would have made because I felt at the time she was still going to be okay, but it … Continue reading Anger

Jasmine is everywhere. There are photos in every room of this house. Drawings, notes, art projects. Her room is as she left it, more or less. I think this is why it's so hard to really feel that she's gone. It seems like she's going to wander into the living room any minute, chewing on … Continue reading Everywhere

So many of you have encouraged me not to censor myself here and I really appreciate that. I cannot think of a time in my life when I have felt so ripped open and raw. I guess that's logical and when I write it, I have a moment of "duh-ness" but it still surprises me … Continue reading 3 of Swords

Last night, an ocean of tears. I'm not sure exactly why so much, but it started when I found Jasmine's birth certificate while looking for Jeff and Gabrielle's. We have to have them to go to Jamaica. I pulled the two folded-up pieces of paper out of the filing cabinet and the first one fell … Continue reading Oceans